Datingcoach1’s Blog

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He is Dating Two Women! How Do I Get Him to Pick Me?

Dear Jeannine & Keith


I’ve been dating a man for the last for months.  He is great guy and treats me well.  There is just one problem.  He is also dating another woman at the same time.  We both know he is dating two women.  He has told me that he really cares about us both and doesn’t’ want to choose.  When he is not with me, I think about him having sex with her and it is really getting to me.  I don’t want to lose him.  How do I make him choose me over her?


Pick Me Please in Pleasant Hill



Well we are glad that you reached out for help.  You’ve gotten yourself into quite a pickle.  Your heart is invested in a man who isn’t willing to choose because both the women he’s dating have been willing to put up with his shenanigans.


Here is the bad news.  I am going to guess that you are also having sex with him.  You are emotionally connected and that is why you are feeling so yucky that he is also having sex with another woman.  Your big mistake was not asking for a monogamous dating and sexual relationship before you had sex. 


Some more bad news:  You say you don’t want to lose him.  You don’t have him.  His heart is divided between the two women in his life, you and the other woman. 


How do you resolve this?  First you have to be willing to walk away from this man.  You have to tell him that you aren’t willing to be in a relationship with him if he is dating and having sex with another woman.  You know that he doesn’t want to choose, but his lack of choice is hurting you tremendously. 


You say this man treats you well.  We think his treatment of you is awful.  What he is doing is extremely selfish and shows a real lack of integrity and character.  Have enough self-respect to ask for what you want from this man.  If he isn’t willing to give it to you, at least you have your answer sooner instead of later.  You deserve to be number one in your man’s life. 

Jeannine and Keith Kaiser

Founders of the Soul Mate Quest Weekend


March 12, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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