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Signs He is Not That Into You

Signs That He is Not Interested in a Relationship


If you can identify the signs that a man “isn’t that into you’ you can keep from getting your heart broken over and over again.  Most women see the signs but choose to ignore them because they believe they are the woman who will change his mind.  You won’t!  Are there exceptions to the rule?  Yes!  But not many!


Most men are pretty straightforward!  They say what they mean.  On the other hand, many women say what they think a man wants to hear or skirts an issue because she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings or make him angry.  But for today, let’s deal with what men think and want.


If a man isn’t that into you, he leaves a trail of clues a mile wide.  Women just choose to ignore them.  If a man isn’t that into you, you will see the following signs:


1)      He communicates via TEXT and email.  By doing so, he avoids the “getting to know you” conversations.  He really isn’t interested in moving things forward.  He wants the down and dirty.  When can he see you?  If you have already had sex, he TEXT is to set up his next booty call.  He usually steers the conversation towards telling you how sexy you are and how he can’t wait to see you again.  DUH!


2)      He warns you that he isn’t relationship material.  (How can that be?  You are so into him.)  Men usually say what they mean.  He is telling you that he is not relationship material-at least with you-believe him!  You might be the exception to the rule, but more than likely, you are not.  He is probably going to have sex with you and dump you when things get too complicated (you want more from him).


3)      He puts little planning into your date.  He tells you that he wants to hang out and watch a movie or something. “Something” means having sex in case you haven’t figured that out by now.  If you always go to the restaurant, because it is his favorite, he isn’t trying to please you.  More than likely, he goes to different restaurants with different women.  (If you are the stalker type, he won’t be there if you go to the same restaurant to try to “see him.”)  A guy that is really into you will plan a date.  Even if the date doesn’t cost him a dime, he will plan.


4)      He makes lots of empty promises.  He keeps talking as if you have a future, but he takes little or no action.  He talks about having a future together or all the fun things you will soon, but he doesn’t plan a date!  This is a cheap way of dating.  Some men promise the moon, sun and stars, but delivers…nothing!  He really isn’t that into you.  Personally, I can come up with at least 20 things that are inexpensive or free to romance someone.  Think about this.  If he can’t come up with a few things that make you swoon despite his pocketbook, he isn’t that into you.


5)      He makes last minute plans to see you.  You are just so glad he calls that you don’t realize that  that he is definitely not that into you or he thinks that you have no life and would readily available at his beckon call.  Either way, if you accept, you aren’t scoring any points. You were probably one of the women in his “little black book” and not his first call.  Guaranteed!


6)      He avoids the “getting-to-know you” conversations!  He really doesn’t want to get to know you better.  He wants to know what he needs to know to get you into bed.  If he really wants to get to know you better, he is asking questions about you, your life and what you want.  If not, he is looking for the easiest, quickest booty call.  He will flatter you!  He will tell you how amazing you are!  But he doesn’t really know anything about you.  If you fall for this, don’t expect a call anytime soon.  He will call you again when he is horny. 


7)      He is pushy about getting physical.  He wants to rip your top off as quickly as possible.  He tries to move things forward beyond the “make out” session with minimal clothing.  If you resist, he makes you feel bad that you aren’t that into him.  He says that he just wants to cuddle, but he is really trying to get more. (Just so you know, most men don’t really like cuddling.  They do it because it gets them sex!)  He is kissing and holding you, but in the process trying to take your blouse and pants off, wants sex.  If he gets upset or offended when you put the kibosh on moving forward, he isn’t that into you.  If someone really likes you, he is willing to wait until you are ready to move things forward.


8)      If you have been dating for a month or more and have never met his friends, he isn’t that into you.  When men think they have found a great catch, he want to show her off.  If you don’t get an invitation to meet his friends, you aren’t that girl.  He wants to see you alone but not integrate you into his life , this is not a good sign.  If a man is really into you, he wants all his friends to see the woman he is dating.  If this doesn’t happen, you are not the woman he wants to be with long term.


9)      He says he just wants to be friends.  He means it.  If you offer up sex as part of the package, he is willing to be friends with benefits.  He isn’t stupid if you are!  If you offer to satisfy him sexually, why not.  If you think being friends with benefits will lead to more, it won’t.  He isn’t into you in almost every case.  When he finds someone who rocks his world, you are history.


10)   He doesn’t call you.  He has your phone number but he isn’t dialing it.  It is not because he lost your number.  If he lost your number and he was really interested, he will move mountains to contact you again.  Chances are, if you’ve contacted him, you won’t hear from him again soon.  He isn’t into you.  You are either an easy booty call, or a stalker.  If he isn’t calling, he isn’t interested in you.  If he calls you, he is hoping for one thing.  You should know what it is by now.


I know this all sounds harsh, but it is the reality of dating in today’s dating circles.  You might believe that Women’s Liberation has evened the playing field for men and women but you are sorely mistaken.  Men still need to be the aggressor in the relationship.  If you are the aggressor, you will be taken for granted, and probably used and discarded.  If you want to be in a serious committed relationship, stop lowering yourself to being the booty call girl. 


Men who disagree with these points are lazy or lack self-esteem and hope that a woman will contact him for a date.  Sorry men!  Women want a man who is a provider and protector.  If you aren’t calling (being the hunter) you are not the man quality women desire to be in a relationship with..  End of story.  The man a woman desires is one who exhibits the message “I am a go-getter and will bring home the deer for food.”  These women don’t wait around for men who exude the message “I will bring home a trout if the fishing is good.” 

I hate to say that biology plays a big part in the attraction of male and female.  But it is true and will be so for a long time.  If you want to get the man or the woman, forget all the social studies mumbo-jumbo and understand that men and women desire each other based on our biology.  You can ignore it, but that doesn’t change it.

Jeannine Kaiser


March 10, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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