10 Signs They Are Cheating!

Have you ever gotten the vib that the person you are dating isn’t on the up-and-up with you? You feel they might be involved with someone else, or worse, married! Unfortunately it happens.

If you are getting that vib, first consider that you might have some baggage from a past relationship that is causing you to be distrustful. If in the past, you have been cheated on, you might be conjuring up some fear that you might get bit in the fanny by another cheater. But let’s examine some of the signs that you might be dating someone who is UNAVAILABLE!

1. You don’t meet their family or friends. You know that you are not in the inner circle of their life. He/She doesn’t introduce you to family members and if you meet his/her friends, it is a small limited group of friends. Sometimes they completely insulate you from their life. If they introduce you to a small number of friends, it could be that these friends are willing to keep their secret. They are cheating!

2.You only have their cell phone number. If you have limited access to contact them, you might be dating someone who is married or involved. When you call, they often tell you that they have to call you back. They can’t talk because their significant other is in close proximity. You often get their voice mail and they call you back at odd hours. If they are talking in a low voice as if they don’t want someone to hear their conversation, you should be very alarmed. They may not provide you with an email address and discourage you from texting them. Cautious cheater of don’t use email or texting. It is too easy to get busted.

3. Their excuses are very detailed! Often people who lie give long, detailed stories about why they can’t keep their date with you or why they were late! Cheaters are liars! Often they aren’t good liars. If a portion of their story doesn’t ring true, don’t brush it under the carpet. Call them out on their story! You could flush out a liar and maybe a cheater.

4. They aren’t available to meet on holidays, and only for a limited time on weekends. If they are married or involved with someone else, you will not be getting much prime time attention. If they frequently cancel dates on the weekend at the last minute, it could be that the significant other made some plans that they can’t get out of.

5.They often want to go to restaurants in out of the way places. They don’t want to get busted running into someone they know. If they run into someone they know, they immediately become uncomfortable. They might want to duck out of the restaurant and they give you some lame excuse for why they don’t want to talk to the person. If they are forced to introduce you, they might introduce you as a business acquaintance or something else lame. If they lie, you know there is a problem.

6. They usually can’t go away for the weekend. Sometimes they can make an excuse that they have to go on a business trip or they are going away with the “Boys” or the “Girls” for the weekend. But getting away for a whole weekend is rare. Often they can’t even spend the night. If you observe them making private phone calls during your weekend trip you should be alerted. Remember, they have to keep up appearances to their wife, husband or significant other by checking in.

7. If you met your new boyfriend/girlfriend on the internet, you might be dating someone who is unavailable if: They don’t post a picture. They don’t want anyone to see them on a dating site. This could easily get back to the significant other. If they post a picture that obscures their face (sunglasses, hat, blurred) they could be hiding, but they know they won’t get much response without a picture.

8. He/ She is evasive when you ask about past relationships. Watch for some clues that indicate that he/she is lying. Touching the nose, licking the lips, clearing the throat are signs of lying. People who cover their mouth (usually it is partially like putting couple of fingers above their lip) it is a sign that they are lying. They don’t look you in the eye when they are talking.

9.  They always want to meet at your place. They either can’t take you home or they are afraid that the girlfriend/boyfriend might drop by unannounced. Look for excuses like: My roommate is nosey. My place is a mess. We can’t have any privacy. If you never or rarely go to their place, you should be alarmed.

10. You find items in their car that don’t belong to you or your partner. Lip stick, sunglasses, drinks with lipstick, underwear, condoms (especially if you aren’t using condoms). Often we see signs of cheating, but we fail to address these warnings. Sometimes we don’t want the answer. If you ignore the signs, you are setting yourself up for some heartache.

Jeannine Kaiser, CCPC

Dating and Relationship Coach