Dating Coach: Is Romance Dead?

Today, I sent my very first TEXT message. I had to pick up my daughter Ashley from school (the very first time this year, because she has a ride home with this really cute Junior boy) and I had no idea how to navigate the carpool lane at the high school.  Ashley couldn’t answer her phone in school, a major no-no, so I sent her a text message to let her know where my car was sitting on campus, and with the sent text,  I anticipated her arrival.

Ashley was in class when she got my TEXT and exclaimed to her friends, “I got a TEXT from my mom.”  They responded with a “So what!”  The typical Danville mom is a TEXT message expert. But not me!. I swore that I would never TEXT!  I am all about the personal touch.  I will call before I email.  I will send a Thank You note, not a Thank You Email.  But today, I broke my code of honor and I TEXT messaged my daughter.

What happened to the common courtesy of returning phone calls?  What happened to sending Thank You notes? What happened to sending an RSVP to a party invitation or at least calling?  This has all been lost in the high-tech of our time.  We send a TEXT to RSVP, if we remember.  We send an invitation to our party via Evite.  We email someone to request for a date.  We fight with someone via instant massager or worse…email.  UGGGGG!

Is there any wonder romance is dying a slow, insidious death within our computer and cell phone.  Don’t get all indignant on me.  When was the last time you sent a thank you note or responded to an RSVP on time?  When was the last time that you communicated with the opposite sex the old fashion way, personally?

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to my father-in-law (not faxing, texting or leaving a voice mail) and he asked me a really profound question.  “Jeannine, being an expert in love and dating, do you think romance is dead?”  He went on to explain how important romance was in his generation and how it contributed to great love.  I didn’t have an answer, but I had a very sinking feeling.  Maybe we have forgotten.  Maybe we have never learned!

Men:  When was the last time you held the door open for a woman or opened the car door for her?  When have you gotten out of your chair and stood up from the dinner table when she has gone to powder her nose.  When was the last time that you walked on the outside of the side walk as a sign of respect?  When was the last time you took her elbow and ushered her across the crosswalk?

Women:  When was the last time you packed a picnic lunch?   When have you sent him a hand-written thank you note for planning an amazing date?  When was the last time that you said “I had a great time.” without inviting him up for a night cap and…well dessert.

We’ve lost that personal touch.  I may be called a Technical Virgin for not getting caught up in email, or TEXT messaging.  So be it.  My husband calls me everyday…even after being together for 12 years, and tells me he loves me.  When I cook him a meal, he says “Thank you honey.  That was great!”  He will leave a note on my pillow in the morning before he leaves for work. It makes me feel special. Most of the time it just says, “I love you honey.”  I don’t think it would have the same meaning in a TEXT!

I will pack him a lunch of the spaghetti with his favorite sauce for lunch just so he doesn’t have to pick up fast food.  I might pick up his favorite hair gel at the store because I noticed he is low.  I will buy potato chip that aren’t Ranch, Salt & Vinegar or Sour Cream and Onion flavoring.  (The kids like those, but he likes plain.)   He always notices when I think about him.

So, to answer my father-in-laws question:  Is romance dead?  No!  It is dead only if you decide that the personal touch doesn’t count.  It is alive in our marriage.

What have you done today to bring back the personal touch?  We are all tired of messages that say press 1 if you want…!   Bring back the personal touch in life and romance.  It doesn’t take much.  A little thought…a couple of minutes more…a commitment to the personal touch.

This Newsletter is just food for thought. What can you do today to make someone feel special?  Please don’t use email or TEXT.

Jeannine Kaiser

www.yourdatingiq.com